Inamorata
by charleymiamore
Summary: After the events of Enishi's Jinchuu, life had never been more peaceful. And yet, in the Kamiya Dojo, restlessness and doubt starts to shake the solidity of Kenshin and Kaoru's relationship. Kaoru wonders and worries constantly, will he stay, or not? Meanwhile, Kenshin is assaulted by memories of Tomoe. Does he still love her, or does he love Kaoru now?
1. Prologue

**Author's note: This story is set post-Jinchuu (yep. We get that a lot here, don't we?), another take as to how Kenshin and Kaoru get together. It's such an interesting event because Nobuhiro Watsuki doesn't explain how they get together, the reader is just simply left to understand that it happens eventually. That _how_ is very intriguing, hence the wealth of post-Jinchuu stuff. This story, however, is going to be a story full of angst since the author (me) is a person full of angst as well.**

** I seriously want to write a story about Kenshin and Tomoe, but the more I read, re-read, watch, and re-watch the Rurouni Kenshin series, I find myself drawn to Kaoru's liveliness. I start out writing a story about Tomoe, and end up including Kaoru. Then I end up not including Tomoe anymore, or relegating her to the role of supporting character. =sigh= Well, some notes (and apologies): I bent the canon a little bit because I want to include Sanosuke in the story still, so if I made his escape to China short, I apologize. I didn't want Megumi to leave permanently yet as well, so I'm including her here. For the villain, if he seems not to be how he is portrayed in the manga, I apologize because I'm just using him for my personal means. After all, this is just a work of fiction based on a work of fiction done just to exercise my mental capacities and not to make money off somebody else's hard work. **

** Lastly, I apologize in advance if I'm not updating stories as regularly as you'd wish. My work is a very demanding one, and leaves me little time to polish my stories. I'm a perfectionist as well, so I take my time checking and rechecking my work.**

**And yes, that last question in the summary is a stupid question, but well, it's worth exploring. =)**

** Okay. After that lengthy author's note, on with the story! **

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A blinding flash of metal – a piercing pain – scarlet blood.

And his voice…

"Kaoru!"

_Why was he looking at her that way?_

She could only sigh as she fell forward.

"Kaoru!"

In the distance, she could hear Yahiko shout something angry. A dull thud, a whimpering noise, and another thud… then even Sano sounded so angry…

Warm arms caught her before she touched the ground. It was comforting, but the pain was too much… too much…

"Kaoru, talk to me, please…" she heard Kenshin say with urgency and panic.

Panic? Kenshin never panicked before…

"Wait here. We'll call Megumi and Dr. Genzai…"

"Hurry!"

It was painful to draw a breath now. She couldn't help whimpering against it.

"Kaoru? Hold on for a while, they'll be here soon."

Kaoru looked up at Kenshin's face. She wanted to touch his face, to touch that cross-shaped scar which had brought him too much pain… but she couldn't even lift a finger anymore. She blinked slowly. Even Kenshin's face was growing blurry now…

She heaved a deep sigh. Immediately, Kenshin's hold on her tensed up.

"Kaoru? Just wait, please…" he pleaded as he held her closer to his chest. She could feel his heart racing rapidly against her cheek. _It's so warm…_

"Kenshin…" she breathed out.

"Yes, Kaoru? What is it? Please talk to me," Kenshin's words gushed out.

_So many things. So many things I want to say to you, Kenshin… _

Did she say that out loud? At Kenshin's silence, she figured not. She wanted to tell him… but she was comfortably warm in his arms. She smiled instead, and let the heaviness fall over her eyelids.

"Kaoru!" Kenshin's sharp cry forced her eyes to open again. "Kaoru, don't!"

_Don't what? _She wanted to ask, but she was feeling so sleepy… so sleepy…

A warm drop of water fell on her cheek. She looked up. Kenshin was shaking, and through the blurry haze, she saw his eyes glisten with tears. _Kenshin, crying?_

"Kaoru, please, stay with me…" Kenshin pleaded brokenly, pain echoing in his voice. "Stay with me, Kaoru, please don't…" He pulled her closer to him, rocking her slowly.

She ought to smile at that, because finally, Kenshin said the words she wanted to hear from him. But she wanted to sleep… now…

Beyond Kenshin's crimson head was a light brighter than the sun, and before she succumbed to the heaviness in her eyes, she thought she saw a figure of a woman with the most melancholic pair of eyes she had ever seen.

The smell of white plums accompanied Kenshin's agonized cry.

"Kaoru!"

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****Author's note is as long as the chapter. Ha ha! Read and review please!**


	2. One: Stirrings

Three days ago…

xxxxx

It was a beautiful day to be in.

Winter gave way to spring, and it was evident in the way the sun shone brightly in the sky. Birds were happily chirping and singing songs as they perched on the trees. The earthy smell of the woods was refreshing.

All in all, it was a perfect day to be envigorated.

"Yahiko!" Kaoru's voice echoed throughout the Kamiya dojo. In the woods adjoining the dojo, Yahiko heard the summons.

"Oh, man," he groaned.

Kenshin smiled and lowered the shinai he held in his hand. "It is time for your training with Kaoru-dono," he said.

"Yeah, I know," Yahiko replied as he too lowered his shinai. "And I was already close to beating you."

Kenshin laughed. "Perhaps," he said jestingly.

"Yahiko!" Kaoru called out again.

"Coming, you ugly hag!" Yahiko replied, annoyed. He turned to go. "Thanks, Kenshin."

Kenshin smiled and looked on as Yahiko ran toward the training hall. About three months had passed since the conclusion of the Jinchuu that Enishi Yukishiro had unleashed upon the Kenshin-gumi. Everyone had settled in their normal routine, just as if nothing had happened. Well, almost, anyway. The absence of Sanosuke and Megumi was keenly felt at times, but it wasn't as if they parted bitterly from each other. They each had their own lives to live, and he felt certain that wherever those two were, they would be doing the things that they loved the most. They deserved whatever they had right now.

He looked up at the clear blue sky. The warmth of the sun seeped into his skin as he turned his face to the bright orb. Wisps of cloud floated lazily across the azure sky, providing little shelter for the birds that fly beneath it. He closed his eyes. With almost a shy touch, the wind blew gently through his hair, sending strands in his face, tickling him slightly.

Yes, it was a perfect day to celebrate the hard-earned peace.

He sighed contentedly and walked back to the dojo. "Maybe I'll do some laundry," he said to himself.

* * *

"We're going then," Kaoru said as she picked up the bundle containing her practice katanas. Yahiko and she were going to the Tobunaga dojo to participate in a practice session with its students.

"Have a safe trip, both of you," Kenshin waved at them as he saw them off. He continued to look at them until they turned around the bend. Then he went back and closed the gate.

Silence. Without the boisterous activity in the dojo, Kenshin could feel its emptiness. On hindsight, it wasn't really the place which gave it character, even if it was a well-established dojo. It was the people in it. It was Kaoru.

Kenshin looked back at the closed gate behind him. In his mind's eye, he could still see Kaoru's retreating back as she was walking away from him. _Walking away…_ those simple words somehow sent little jolts of white-hot pain in his heart as he contemplated those words. It was all he could do to control himself not to go after Kaoru wherever she went, because the grief and the fear that Enishi let him taste was still alive in his heart. Even if it was eventually exposed as an elaborate hoax, the idea that he would lose Kaoru was more than he could bear. Not all the lives he had taken, save one, had affected him in this way, which only proved how essential Kaoru was in his life.

_But… do I dare…?_

"Ssssstt!"

Kenshin turned to the insistent sound coming from the back gate of the dojo. He started.

"Yo." Sanosuke was smiling at him with his signature grin.

* * *

"It's so peaceful."

Kenshin saw Sano sigh and yawn as they idled together in the shelter of Kamiya dojo. It was a shock to see Sanosuke back in Japan ("I kinda missed you guys," he said, by way of explanation, "and I have to see if the heat on me is gone."), but he was glad, nevertheless, for that.

"Yes it is," Kenshin agreed.

Sano yawned again. "Sometimes I wish for the old days."

"The old days?" Kenshin asked, puzzled as to what he meant. "You mean the Bakumatsu?"

Sano rolled his eyes. "You know, you need to lighten up sometime, Kenshin," he said. Kenshin laughed in reply. "I meant those days when all we did was fight someone… be that narrow-eyed Saitou or that deranged Shishio Makoto…" Sano's eyes brightened at the thought. "The adrenaline pumping into my veins always made me feel like I'm the strongest, that I "

Kenshin laughed again. "I rather think you've had enough of those to last you a lifetime."

Sano snorted, and shook his head. "Maybe for you, but not for me. But China offered less challenges." He laid back and stretched himself. "Then again, maybe these kinds of days are better for you." He looked sideways at Kenshin.

"Perhaps," Kenshin said vaguely.

A few minutes of silence elapsed as Sano studied Kenshin. "You are all right now, aren't you?" he asked.

Kenshin smiled. "Of course. Why would you ask that?"

Sano ignored what he said. "You are over with that Enishi thing, right?"

Kenshin was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Sano fidgeted and looked away. "You know, over with…" he hesitated. "Himura Tomoe."

Kenshin remained silent. Sano pressed on. "You do know that you have stayed a little bit longer than is appropriate for a man and a woman to live together without getting married, don't you?" He chuckled. "I'm surprised nothing else happened during the three months that I've been away."

Kenshin turned to Sano sharply. "Sano!"

Sano shrugged. "Well, look at you both. Even if the brat serves as your chaperone (and, by the way, aren't you a little too old to have a chaperone?), people are talking about you and the missy."

Kenshin grew concerned. "Are they?"

Sano shrugged again. "Well, they're bound to. Who wouldn't? Some are good-natured enough, like the people in the Akabeko, but then again, you can't avoid the nasty ones."

"In that case, maybe it's time for me to leave," Kenshin said. At that, Sano stared at him.

"You aren't serious, are you?" Sano asked, incredulous.

"After what you've just said? I have to do something to protect Kaoru-dono's reputation," Kenshin replied.

Sano resisted the urge to hit the other man's head. "You idiot!" he cried out. "That's not the solution to that problem! And you know how hurt the missy will be if you leave her again."

Kenshin didn't reply, but something in his eyes bothered Sano. "You aren't thinking about it, are you?" he asked. Kenshin didn't answer, which made Sano more anxious. "Tell me, Kenshin, you aren't thinking of leaving, are you? Where else would you go? This is your home."

"I have survived being homeless for ten years," Kenshin replied. "I believe I can survive the rest of my life wandering."

At that, Sano let loose a blow directed toward Kenshin's head. "You are definitely the most idiotic person I've ever met," he said. "You are being offered the chance to be with someone who definitely is head over heels for you, and at the same time to have the home to rest in. Why do you reject that?"

Kenshin sighed. "After everything I've done in the past, happiness is something I don't deserve." He shook his head. "I don't deserve her, Sano."

Sano shook his head at the obstinacy of his friend. "If there's one person I know who truly deserves happiness, it's you, Kenshin." He got up and patted Kenshin lightly on the back. "Take it before it slips away from you."

Kenshin only smiled.

* * *

"That was a good one, wasn't it?" Yahiko said as he flexed his sword arm. "I've never felt so energized after a sparring session." He and Kaoru were walking back home towards the Kamiya dojo. It was a tranquil night, and crickets chirped along their road, keeping them company.

Kaoru nodded in agreement, but Yahiko could tell her mind was on to something else. "Okay, what is it?" he asked her. "Spill it out."

Kaoru laughed. "How did you get so good at reading minds?" she asked him teasingly. Then she sobered. "I wonder what's bothering Kenshin so much nowadays," she said.

"Probably wondering what to cook for dinner when we come back," Yahiko replied, and received a blow on the head. "Hey!"

"I'm serious here," Kaoru admonished.

Yahiko massaged the sore spot. "Jeez, can't you take jokes anymore?" he grumbled. Then he looked at her. "Why? What did Kenshin do now that makes you worry that much?"

Kaoru looked at Yahiko thoughtfully. The boy had grown a lot in the span of time that passed since she first caught him picking Kenshin's pocket. He had learned so much, seen so much, fought so much, that she sometimes couldn't see him as a little boy anymore, but a young man. Nevertheless, her concern about Kenshin didn't need to concern him as well, because this was something that she needed to deal with, alone.

"Nothing… nothing in particular, anyway," she replied. She looked down.

Yahiko regarded Kaoru closely. At that look, she knew that he didn't believe her. "Don't worry too much, Kaoru," he said reassuringly. "Maybe he's still thinking about the past events that happened. Getting over his past is not easy, don't you think?"

Kaoru smiled slightly. "Yeah…" She looked up the sky and sighed. _Maybe…_ but she still couldn't help but worry.

Yahiko suddenly stopped in his tracks. Because she was too busy thinking, Kaoru almost collided with him. "What's the deal?" she muttered, annoyed. He didn't even bother responding, being preoccupied with something straight ahead.

"I don't believe it," Yahiko whispered. Kaoru followed his gaze and saw what surprised him.

Kenshin was walking towards them, smiling broadly. He wasn't alone.

"Old friends have come visiting, Kaoru-dono," he said, gesturing towards Sanosuke and Megumi who were beside him.

* * *

And of course, if old friends visited, then there would surely be a celebration.

The Kamiya dojo was filled with rambunctious noise. Old faces gathered round again, laughing and talking and eating and drinking, just like in the old days. There was a lot of catching up to do with Sanosuke and Megumi, being the only members of the Kenshingumi who had started lives of their own outside of Tokyo. There wasn't much that Sanosuke could tell them about China, because he was still struggling with the language (Megumi huffed at that, and remarked that he had better stay in Japan, "because we don't want the Chinese to think that all Japanese are stupid because of you."). Megumi was thriving in Aizu, as the Takani name had not been entirely forgotten by the people there. She was also fortunate enough to work with a foreign doctor who was able to teach her the latest medical advances (Sano sulked all throughout Megumi's story as she described the doctor and his accomplishments. "What a poppycock," he muttered, though it wasn't meant to reach Megumi's ears).

All in all, it was too much like the old days. But after everything was said and done, the dojo returned to its normal silent form.

Kaoru rose up from her futon, feeling too restless for sleep. Thoughts of how much Sano and Megumi had accomplished had occupied her mind too much. She grabbed a jacket and wrapped it closely around her body before she stepped outside.

Apparently, she wasn't the only one who was awake.

"Hey," she called out.

Sitting at the engawa in front of his room, Kenshin looked up as Kaoru approached him. "Kaoru-dono," he said. "It's late."

"I know," Kaoru replied. "I can't sleep," she said simply. "Can I sit beside you?"

"Of course," Kenshin replied. She sat, and they both looked up the full moon shining brightly in the night sky. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts, but no thought can occupy Kaoru more than the redheaded man beside her. Looking askance, she had a full view of the scarred side of his face.

The cross-shaped scar. Kaoru felt a pang of pain shoot up straight to her heart. After Enishi's defeat, Kaoru had begun to hope that the burden of the past would be lifted from Kenshin's shoulders. They came home, safe and sound, and she truly hoped that Kenshin would finally rest from wandering.

So why then did she feel uneasy about that hope?

The change was gradual. The usual smile was there, he was still doing the chores that he normally does, but something felt different. Call it a woman's intuition, but something was slowly changing in Kenshin. There were times when she saw him sigh, and stare thoughtfully into space, lost in whatever thoughts that disturbed him. Even in the midst of doing the laundry, his favorite chore, he'd stop what he was doing and look down at his hands narrowly as if they'd done something wrong. When she couldn't see him around the dojo, her heart throbbed with panic, and she'd search for him frantically. Most of the time, she found that he'd only gone to the market, or some such errand, but there were times when she found him in the bamboo forest, still and silent. She learned from Tsubame long ago that it was there where he sought to calm his restless spirit, and she feared that this agitation would grow stronger than his desire for rest.

Kaoru bit her lip. She had never told him about her fears, because she hoped they were just that. She did tell him many times that she would like him to stay, and she had shown him that she would always stay by his side whatever happens, but if that wasn't enough, who was she to stop him from what he wanted to do?

The mere thought blurred her vision. _Kenshin… will you leave?_

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin's concerned voice broke into the silence, and her thoughts. Kaoru looked up to see him look at her with a steadfast gaze. "Is there anything the matter?"

Kaoru met his gaze. She had to look at him all she can, because she can never know when she will look into those kind eyes again. "Kenshin," she whispered, then stopped, because she found her throat choked up with emotion. _Are you going to leave? _was her unspoken question.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked again in concern because of the tears that were slowly forming in her eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Kenshin, don't worry," Kaoru quickly said, turning away to hastily brush off the tears. She faced him again with a smile. "Something just got into my eye."

Kenshin's brows knitted together. "You are one very bad liar, Kaoru-dono," he said. Kaoru winced at that. "Please tell me, is there something wrong?" he asked earnestly, his amethyst eyes reflecting the bright moon.

Kaoru looked down at her fingers as she nervously twisted them in her lap. She could feel Kenshin's gaze on her, which made her even more uncomfortable. Now that she had the chance, she couldn't muster the courage to ask the one thing that is on her mind. Where is her courage now, that courage which had manifested itself in all the battles she had been through?

A swordsman should know when he is defeated. _And this is one battle I will never win._

She heard Kenshin sigh deeply. "It is a beautiful night. But I think we'd better go in and sleep, Kaoru-dono," she heard him say. She looked up. Kenshin was standing and smiling down on her, a hand extended towards her. "Whatever it is that is troubling you, I think sleep can be able to ease it."

Kaoru looked at Kenshin's proffered hand. _But it can't_, she wanted to say. _Sometimes it makes it worse._ But she nevertheless took his hand and raised herself up with his aid. "I suppose you're right," she simply said, outwardly agreeing with what he said, but never feeling it in her heart.

XXXXXXXXX

_It had been a month since they decided to live together as husband and wife to escape the turmoil in Kyoto. At the beginning, it was an uneasy arrangement, given that neither of them was accustomed to be with another person in anything that they did._

_He would wake up with her gone from her futon, beginning to prepare breakfast, or writing in her diary. She would look at him sleeping in the sitting position that was his habit, his sword always at the ready. They would not agree upon who gets to be in the bath first, him being the gentleman, and her being the shy maiden. He would always keep his annoyance in check at the length of time it took her to prepare to go out in a simple a place as the market, and she would deeply sigh at the sight of the sword that hung constantly at his side, despite her requests that he leave it behind during their excursions, even just for a while._

_But they were brought together, and in the eyes of the law, they were husband and wife._

_It was a convenient arrangement for them, because two people, a man and a woman, living together who are not married to each other create unwanted attention that, in this turbulent time, may easily endanger both of their lives. With the arrangement, they protected each other, just until the murderous tide that is the Shinsengumi washes over._

_Most importantly, neither of them had to feel alone, ever again. _

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**A/N: First up, thanks for reading my story!**

**kaoruca: Thank you very much for reading them! =) if only that was the case... =(**

**aww... kokoronagomu: Don't worry, things will get better. Let's just set some things up and then we're ready to go! =) I do believe as well that in some corner of the fictional world, our Kenshin and Kaoru have their happy ending. This is just like the Seisouhen OVA that's totally different from Rurouni Kenshin canon.**

**But I agree with you. It is depressing, isn't it? Luckily, art does not imitate life.**

**Read and review please! =) **


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